Hello again, thanks for all your replies...
I left a crucial element out in my post. I'm a married man, she knows this. My marraige has crumbled and we've been talking about a separation/divorce. My kids are 20 & 17, the eldest is out of the house. My attention and affection has drifted to this woman. I'm also in a 'very' serious Mid-Life-Crisis to boot. For several months I've been keeping my feelings inside and have been so infatuated that I 'thought' I was in love with her. This has been killing me. I've been trying to forget about her and thinking that she's not an option due to her being about 15 years younger than me. She speaks of this "Truth" and is I believe Hard-Core JW. I found this forum because due to my Mid-Life-Crisis, failing marraige, my infatuation and my 'giving up' on the idea of this woman, I've had thoughts of dying. In search to understand my feelings of death, I found THIS forum.
XQ's,
This woman has been friendly and seemingly flirtatious at times BEFORE her JW came out and gave me the book. I shop where she works & I've known her for a while. So I didn't think she appraoched me just to give me a book, though I feel she's simply doing her JW duty by witnessing me. When I told her I had read some of it weeks later, her face lit up.
Dan,
I thought about the "human" element of course. At her age (late twenties) I'm sure she's ripe in the flirtation department, though in a reserved way. Sometimes when I've seen her, she seems distant and what I thought I felt as feelings from her don't seem to be there. Other times we've had moments that I was SURE she felt something. No doubt that her religion is push/pulling here.
XQ's,
I have early on told her that I was not religious, and I'm a person of science. When I told her that my family was Catholic, she says' "Ah" as if to say, that's too bad:( But I don't practice it or any religion. I've not said this to her, but I view my own beliefs as being a "free-thinker" as opposed to religious people. And what does this term "ELDER" exactly mean? I've been reading these forums and seeing this word used. I take it that it's like the church's Priest? Though I'm trying to forget her, it's very hard to get her out of my mind. I also feared that if such a relationship was to begin that I would be at odds.
blondie,
Knowing that she's a hard-core JW and Ive had this infatuation, I felt I would do or become anything for her. I've never had such deep feelings for anyone in my 43 years and it seemed at one time that she's the 'one'! Funny that you mention a "male member"...One day I was questioning her by asking "What about evolution"? "Neandethal man" etc... She said "Oh, that's never been proven"! To me through 'science' it HAS been proven! She didn't seem to hate me for this though as I suspected. But she then asked that if I was serious about all this, that her father could come to my house and could answer any questions I have regarding Science VS Religion. I declined...Because of my feelings for her and my existing relationship, it's too weird for me. I was VERY confused be her offer to have her FATHER no less come to my house! I though, maybe that having someone else other than HER talk to me about her religion, that she was letting me know that maybe she's NOT romantically attracted to me as I thought. But then her father? Hmmm...Besides, I don't want to be 'assimilated' as in The Borg (Star Trek Next Gen) just yet:o No I DO NOT know what it is to become a JW! After reading many posts throughout these forums, I tend to agree to what my friends have been telling me all along about staying clear. JW's here at these forums themselves seem more against being a JW than my non-JW friends! It seems sure that my current wife and I are ending out 19 years of marraige at this time. This all has been VERY painful, and I WAS considering religion in my life for the 1st time ever due to this woman. I've often felt that she was like some sort of angel sent to save me as I've been mixed up lately. I know that sound delusional of me! Another reason for me trying to forget (and I guess I should) is that she asked me if I finnished reading the book yet. BAD QUESTION! My wife was angry that another woman gave me a book and took it away - along with finding and taking away my songs that I wrote about my feelings being that I've been a musician/songwritter for many years, though not something I'm persuing anymore. I could NOT lie to her, I told her it was taken away. She told me that this is something that JW's worry about when female JW's witness to men. She told me that often they send out other males to witness males. Depite that in the past I was 'certain' I felt a mutual attraction between us, I feel this last conversation was the end of my hopes about being wth her. I thought that if she trully had feelings for me 'beyond' a simple attraction to me that she would have said something to me right then and there. Especially since in this conversation, I told her I was having problems at home and that I may be moving out! That's all she said about that was "well maybe once you get your own place, she could send a male JW to talk to me" I guess she's only interested in converting me and any attraction she has torward me are just casual feelings (I'm a decent looking guy I've been told).
RR,
Unfortunately I think you and my friends have been right all along. Though I would have 'definately' gave it a shot! I look at my possible future of being alone now, and no one compares to her. Besides not even being relious at all, having to deal with what I've learned about JW's mates not being a high priority to Jehova the great one. Everything I've read here in the forums about not having sex for fun, not believing in oral, only missionary position etc, etc..This almost seems 'worse' than dealing with JW vs non-religion to me!
[sigh]
